In my Humble Opinion,Teaching is not for Wimps

The past few weeks I've been visiting a fourth grade classroom four times a week teaching opinion writing.  It's been several years since I taught anyone under the age of twenty and, though I have more than eighteen years of elementary teaching experience, I was terrified.  I laughed at myself when I realized how very nervous I was to get started.  First of all, I was borrowing a classroom and that is a great deal of trust placed in me and I wanted to do a good job.  Second of all, there's so much you forget so quickly when you're away from the elementary classroom.  It's just like riding a bike.... but it's like riding a bike that you have to assemble first.

The first few days I realized how quickly I'd forgotten all of the management strategies I had collected over the years.  The decision making is second by second and one wrong call can result in chaos or loss of focus or steering a student in the wrong direction and having to make a repair.  I had been focused on the content I wanted to teach and had forgotten to plan for the delivery.  I had to think about how to pass things out, how to treat students with equity, how to have them quiet down to hear directions, how to check in to be certain I had been clear with directions,  how to deliver directions that resulted in the final product I was seeking, how to answer questions, and even how to ask students to sit in certain places in the classroom.  All of those things had become natural to me in my own classroom over the years and now it was all brand new again.

Self reflection was agony as I would leave the classroom and analyze the wrong turns I'd made and how I could have improved my instruction and how I could have provided more encouragement for one student or held another accountable for completing quality work.  Each day I left with the one thought, "If I could do that over again..."  But, you know what?  Doing it over again would likely still change because every class is different, every student is different, and every day is different.

I fell back to what carried me through my teaching when I was in the elementary classroom full time. I worked to build relationships.  I tried to remember what one said about their favorite team or what one said about their brother or share personal stories and make connections.  Luckily, some of the students liked basketball and others liked dogs and others liked books and we could all connect in some way.  Now, I was the fourth grade Grandma.  I stopped by daily, got them all excited, and then quickly departed leaving them to their teacher.  Because of this I had the luxury of being a little more relational and a little less structured.  I am still convinced that building relationships with students in small ways leads to big learning.  I am even more convinced after seeing the students share their final writing today.

What did these students learn?  I think they learned about the importance of organization.  I think they learned about the need for elaboration.  I think they learned that writing is individual and personal and it's where they can find their voice.  I think they learned that sometimes you start a draft and your final copy turns out to be very different than what you planned.

What did I learn?  Teaching is hard work and, when you truly care about individual students and their learning, it is exhausting mentally.  You carry those students home with you each day and you think aloud in the evenings about what could be that one thing that spurs them along and gets the pencil moving.  My husband likely grew tired of my musings each night about their writing and how I could support them best in a short amount of time.  I learned that a great mentor teacher knows when to step aside and give room for the visiting teacher to try things and find their way.  I was in the presence of an amazing writing teacher and, yet, she gifted me with time with her students and let me find my way to a sense of feeling like a successful teacher.  Sharing your classroom and sharing your students and turning their learning over to someone else is not easy but she made it look that way.  The student teachers she works with are truly lucky to have a mentor teacher who has that balance and is supportive when needed and steps back when needed.

We wrapped up today with some sharing time of our opinion writing.  I shared my writing with them, they shared their writing with me.  My favorite moments were when a student read a really well written sentence and another quietly said, "Wow, that was a great sentence!"  and when the students shared what they learned and when they were excited about my favorite notebooks that I shared with each of them.  These students understand that writing is valued and they support each other and respect each other's work.  That was a foundation built before I arrived and I was lucky to be able to add one more thin layer.

Having had this recent teaching experience I am going to be a stronger teacher for my college students preparing to teach.  I now remember how exciting and equally frightening it is to sit in front of a class for the first time and hope that you are going to teach them something memorable and useful.  I remember how hard teaching is every day.

I also remember now how rewarding teaching is every day.  I got a few hugs and many thank you's and high fives when leaving today.  What great kids and what great teachers they are.  I asked a student to write me some feedback and she commented that she liked how I smiled every day, how I offered encouragement, and how I was willing to participate in spirit days (Why wouldn't I take the opportunity to wear my polka dotted Duke basketball knee highs?!).  Her notes for me will remain in my office as a reminder of the things I did well.  The things I can improve on will keep rattling around until the next time I get to step in front of the elementary classroom again.  I hope I can continue to be reminded of what a difficult, challenging, and amazing profession I chose to pursue.