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Teaching and Learning in School and in Life

I've been wrestling with so many thoughts and it has robbed sleep and I think it's time to hit the blank white page of the blog and throw these thoughts out to the internet universe.  If nothing else, it will lift them off of my weary spirit.  Writing does that for me.   I'm working on a project related to distance learning as I engage in a great deal of it this semester.  I've always considered myself a face to face teacher.  I am learning just how much I feed off of the interaction, the facial cues, the body language, the back and forth of discussion.  I fully support distance learning.  I think we are missing a large part of our population that would like to further their education because it is not available to them in their site bound situation, especially in a large geographical area like Wyoming.  I believe we have pockets of excellence that are left untapped.  That being said, I also now realize I believe that distance learning, speci...
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Faith, Fear, and 2020 Vision

So many are using social media the past few days to provide a wrap up of 2019 and to offer their resolutions for the new year to come.  It makes all of us take stock, I think.  I have friends giving up social media for the new year and friends pledging to share more and share honestly so others can know they are not alone.  I have friends resolving to do better and be better.  Many are taking to platforms like Twitter to put their resolutions and wishes for the new year in just a few characters.  It's all around us. I have a picture above my bed.  It's been there for a very long time.  Today I looked at it intently as I made the bed and did some cleaning.  It reads, "May your faith be bigger than your fear."  If I could sum up 2019 it would be one of fear.  I spent a great deal of it afraid.  Even though cancer has been our companion for ten years now, I was afraid of its return.  I was afraid of the challenges that aging par...
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Thoughts from a sick mind

I knew that would get you to tune in... I'm sick.  If I'm honest I've been sick for more than a month.  I fought it for awhile and then ended up in bed for a few days.  I pushed too hard.  I denied it.  I just kept moving. I got really sick.  Yesterday, I awoke to increasing swelling on the right side of my face and a high fever and it could be denied no longer.  My trip to the doctor this time resulted in a diagnosis of a sinus infection, ear infection, and a prescription for a strong broad spectrum antibiotic.  Oh yeah, and the rest thing.  I've been finding myself crawling in to bed at 7 p.m. this entire semester so one would think I'm getting rest but it's the 2 a.m. my mind is swirling and my thoughts are on fire that have likely prevented true rest.  A product of my lifelong relationship with anxiety- my body shuts down, my mind never does.  It's been a very long time since I've truly rested. So today I've been in bed. ...
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No Forest, a Whole Lot of Trees

I don't know what to expect from this post as I put my fingers on the keys.  It could turn out to be a muddled mess. I process through writing and I've promised myself to make my writing public if only to help one reader be vulnerable with their own writing identity so here I am contemplating climbing a tree. I had a birthday recently.  The passage of time is inevitable and it brings reflection.  Life has not turned out at all as I had planned.  That's okay, really.  In some ways events have been better than I'd planned and in other ways it's just different than I had pictured life to go for me.  I thought by now I'd be in a different place, a different space, if not literally at least figuratively.  This reflection has bogged me down.  I've found myself feeling jaded and tired.  I feel like I've let people down.  I worry about failure and falling short. I've been looking at a lot of trees- focusing on every leaf, every piece of bark. ...
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Fire Escapes and Contemplation

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Recently my daughter and I traveled to NYC.  Part of our trip was a tour into Harlem to see landmarks and attend a church service.  I don't know what I expected from this tour.  I am quite sure it wasn't what I expected.  It left me feeling confused and muddled and I am still processing the experience. The tour was obviously designed to be a feel good tour for visitors from all different countries and walks of life.  Because of this it seemed to be a narration of omission and careful word choice.  There was so much that struck me.  First of all, humorous stories of Martin Luther King Jr. were shared while there was no mention of Malcom X.  The guide used phrases like, "we want you to feel safe" when referring to places where we could disembark.  We stopped at the Apollo Theater as white tourists flocked to take pictures with a young black woman who was near the site, possibly assuming she was their very own Harlem souvenir.  The guide ...
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Perspective, Closed Doors, Unopened Windows

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Wow.  It's been nearly seven months since I've written in this public forum.  I've been missing my regular writing. The making it public, well, that is rooted in a firm belief of practicing what one preaches.  I publish it for me- a type of written record of life and a disciplined desire to make the vulnerability of writing visible. My husband would laugh if I say I haven't been writing.  I compose constantly but it remains in my head.  I've been composing this post over the last few weeks as we moved across town to a smaller place and engaged in what is termed by many as  "downsizing".    I could write an entire post on that term.  I feel a lot of freedom from parting with unnecessary stuff and having less to maintain and clean.  In many ways I feel we have upsized.  But, that's another lengthy post for another time. What has been striking me most with this move is perspective, how we get stuck in one way of seeing things and h...
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Feedback Without Tears

My student evaluations for my fall courses were opened to me over the weekend.  I was able to see my ratings and read my students' comments.  In the past I've dreaded this moment. It does not matter if the ratings are high and the comments are ultimately positive.  One negative comment causes me to self reflect until my teaching soul is raw.  Could I have done something differently?  Did I miss the mark with one student?  Was I not approachable and open, why didn't they feel comfortable letting me know their concern during class when I could have potentially made a change?  Now, there is nothing wrong with self reflection and owning your students' successes and failures and yearning to grow to be a better teacher.  It's an important part of on-going professional development.  However, I have tried to remind myself semester after semester that adult students are also responsible for their learning and I can't control everything and I can't mak...
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